Forgiveness is one of the most profound and transformative journeys we can undertake in our lifetime. It is not about condoning the hurtful actions of others, nor is it about forgetting the pain we’ve endured. Rather, forgiveness is a conscious and courageous act of releasing the emotional burden that holds us captive in the past. Whether it’s forgiving others or extending grace to ourselves, forgiveness offers a doorway to peace, emotional freedom, and spiritual growth.
As a clinical hypnotherapist, life and success coach, psychic medium, and spiritual advisor, I have seen firsthand how the lack of forgiveness can manifest in emotional, mental, and even physical distress. I have also endured the suffering that lack of forgiveness entails. Holding onto resentment, anger, and guilt is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to suffer. In this article, we will explore the concept of forgiveness, the science and spirituality behind it, the challenges people face, and practical steps to embrace forgiveness fully.
Understanding Forgiveness Forgiveness is often misunderstood. Many believe that forgiving someone means excusing their behavior or reconciling with the offender. However, forgiveness is not about the other person—it’s about you. It’s about choosing peace over pain, freedom over bondage. Hatred only burdens the person who carries it, it’s best to choose to travel lightly.
Psychologically, forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge. It doesn’t mean you forget the wrongdoing or pretend it didn’t happen. Spiritually, forgiveness is an act of love—toward yourself and toward the divine spark in every being. It aligns you with higher consciousness and opens the heart to compassion.
Why Forgiveness Matters
- Emotional Healing: Holding onto anger and resentment can lead to anxiety, depression, and emotional numbness. Forgiveness allows the emotional wounds to heal.
- Physical Health: Studies show that forgiveness lowers blood pressure, improves heart health, boosts immunity; and reduces stress, improving neurological functioning.
- Spiritual Growth: Forgiveness elevates your vibration, clears karmic patterns, and aligns you with your soul’s purpose.
- Freedom from the Past: Forgiveness helps you reclaim your power from the person or event that caused harm.
- Improved Relationships: As you forgive, you release toxic patterns and invite healthier connections into your life.
The Challenge of Forgiveness Forgiveness is often easier said than done. Many people struggle with:
- Feeling invalidated: Believing that forgiving means their pain doesn’t matter.
- Fear of vulnerability: Worrying that forgiveness will make them a target again.
- Deep trauma: Experiencing pain so profound it feels unforgivable.
- Ego attachment: Holding onto the identity of the victim.
- Self-blame: Struggling to forgive themselves for past choices.
Acknowledging these challenges is the first step toward healing. Your feelings are valid, and forgiveness is not about minimizing your experience—it’s about transforming your pain into wisdom.
The Spiritual Perspective on Forgiveness From a spiritual lens, every soul incarnates with lessons to learn, and sometimes those lessons involve pain, betrayal, or loss. The people who hurt us are often soul-contract catalysts—individuals who play painful roles so we can evolve, awaken, and grow.
Forgiveness from this view is an act of soul liberation. It is saying, “I choose to see beyond the illusion of separation. I honor my soul’s journey and release you from my energetic field.”
As a psychic medium, I have encountered many spirits who express regret and seek forgiveness from those they hurt while alive. This reminds us that the healing power of forgiveness transcends the physical world and affects generations past, present, and future. I spend a lot of time setting souls free by facilitating forgiveness between the living and the dead; as well as among the living.
Forgiving Yourself One of the hardest but most crucial forms of forgiveness is self-forgiveness. We often hold ourselves to impossible standards, punish ourselves for our mistakes, or feel unworthy of love and grace.
Self-forgiveness involves:
- Acknowledging the pain or harm you’ve caused.
- Taking responsibility without drowning in guilt.
- Offering yourself compassion and understanding.
- Learning and choosing to do better.
Remember, you are not your mistakes. You are a divine being having a human experience. Every error is a stepping stone toward your evolution.
Hypnotherapy and Forgiveness Hypnotherapy can be a powerful tool in the forgiveness process. In a relaxed and focused state, clients can access the subconscious mind where old wounds, beliefs, and emotional patterns are stored.
Through hypnotherapy, one can:
- Reframe traumatic events.
- Release trapped emotions.
- Connect with inner child or past-life selves.
- Receive healing imagery and guidance.
- Anchor new empowering beliefs.
The subconscious mind is deeply receptive in hypnosis, making it an ideal space to plant seeds of compassion, healing, and release.
Coaching Tools for Forgiveness As a life and success coach, I guide clients through actionable steps to process and integrate forgiveness:
- Journaling: Write letters (not to be sent) to the person you’re forgiving. Express everything—anger, sadness, betrayal. Then, write a letter of release.
- Mirror Work: Look into your eyes in the mirror and speak words of forgiveness and love to yourself. Say it until you mean it. Keep saying it until you fully believe the words coming out of your mouth.
- Meditation and Visualization: Imagine a cord connecting you to the person or event. Visualize cutting the cord and sending them love.
- Affirmations: Use phrases like, “I forgive and release,” “I am free from the past,” “I choose peace.”
- Rituals: Light a candle, burn the letters, create a forgiveness altar—rituals anchor the intention into the physical world. I have also had clients put these letters in the casket of a deceased person during the viewing as well. I tell them to write down everything they ever wanted to say to the person and let them be buried with the letter.
When Forgiveness Feels Impossible There may be times when forgiveness feels unreachable. In those moments, start with the intention. You don’t have to feel it right away. Begin with willingness:
“I am willing to forgive. I am open to healing. I am ready to be free.” Clearly state your intention to forgive. The universe will hear you and give you what you need to make that a reality.
Even a mustard seed of willingness can spark transformation. Over time, the heart softens, and grace enters.
Messages from Spirit In mediumship sessions, I often receive messages from departed loved ones and many souls who caused harm. These messages frequently carry deep remorse, love, and a plea for forgiveness. Spirit reminds us that unresolved pain ties us energetically to the past. It’s unresolved business and they can’t rest until they make things right, or at least clear the air.
Forgiveness creates closure—not always with words or face-to-face contact, but in your soul.
The Ripple Effect of Forgiveness When you forgive, you don’t just heal yourself—you contribute to the healing of your lineage, your community, and the collective consciousness. Forgiveness sends a ripple of light through the fabric of time and space.
Imagine a world where forgiveness was the norm. Where conflict gave way to compassion. Where justice included mercy. Where self-love replaced shame. You are a vessel for that vision.
Practical Daily Forgiveness Practice Make forgiveness a daily ritual:
- Morning Intention: Begin each day with the intention to forgive yourself and others.
- Evening Reflection: Reflect on any resentments or self-judgments that arose and release them before sleep.
- Gratitude Practice: Gratitude naturally softens the heart and makes space for forgiveness.
- Breathwork: Use your breath to move through stuck emotions.
- Compassionate Inquiry: Ask, “What pain might this person have been carrying?”
Embracing the Gift of Forgiveness Forgiveness is not a one-time event—it’s a journey, a practice, a sacred act of liberation. It doesn’t mean you condone harm, forget your boundaries, or invite toxicity back in. It means you choose freedom. You choose peace. You choose to reclaim your power.
To forgive is to align with your higher self. It is to honor the divine within you and within others. It is a radical act of love that transforms pain into power, wounds into wisdom, and anger into alchemy.
May you find the courage to forgive. May you be gentle and kind with yourself. And may your heart be free.